Striving to be a Proverbs 31 wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend in a Sin Saturated World

Monday, April 23, 2012

4 Questions Every Wife Should Ask Her Husband...

Ephesians 5:22 tells wives to be subject to their own husbands, as to the Lord. Submission seems to be an old and outdated tradition in our modern world, however it is Biblical and still applies today. Part of our submission is love and respect to our own husbands. We can gain so much as wives by showing love, respect, and submissiveness to our husbands each and every day. Men are not nearly as complicated as women and taking care of a few things can go a long way in a Christian marriage! Communication is key. Let’s take a look at some questions we should frequently ask our husbands that show love, respect, and submission.

Are you satisfied with our sex life? Talking about sex is almost a taboo sometimes. However, sex within a marriage is a wonderful and necessary thing. God created Eve in Genesis 2:22-23 as a gift for man that they may be one flesh. Hebrews 13:4 tells us the marriage bed is to be held in honor among all. I Corinthians 7 is a beautiful passage showing that our bodies belong to one another. Men show intimacy through sexual closeness. The more we show love physically to our husbands, the closer they feel to us as well. Don’t see it as a chore. See it as an adventure. Make talking about sex a “normal” thing for you, not an awkward conversation. Take a look at the Song of Solomon today. It’s a great read. Song of Solomon 5:16 is a great motto to have!

Can you teach me to fish this weekend? This question is generic but encompasses a very important reality that we sometimes lose after those dating years. Our spouse needs us to be his recreational “buddy” sometimes. Think about it, who would you most want to share your favorite activities with? It won’t kill us to play a little basketball, go fishing, or even play a little WII once in awhile. It’s an added bonus to ask them to teach you a skill or surprise them with an activity in a way that says I love being with you instead of I’m just doing this because I have to. Sometimes attitude is everything!! God gave us a wonderful husband to spend life with so let’s not spend all of our time on chores and work. Let’s get out there and play!

How can I be a better help meet? God not only gave woman to man as a sexual partner in life but as someone to help him to reach the goal of Heaven! Ephesians 5:22-33 gives husbands and wives excellent examples of how we should submit to our husbands and he will love us as Christ loves the church. What a beautiful picture! Our husbands are the spiritual leaders in the home, but we are there to help him as he strives to meet the noble goal of Heaven. We can ask how to better help and also help by preparing little ones in our home through teaching and songs, getting nightly routines finished before family devotional time, and showing the respect our husband deserves in front of our children and others.

What can I do for you today? Men get overwhelmed too. Check in to see if they need a little help getting something finished. Ask if you can bring them some coffee and the paper at the end of the day. Make your husband feel important and you will reap many rewards.

Our husbands are our greatest asset. Keep communication open. People change over time and we need to know our spouses better than anyone. Ask some of these questions to your hubby. He may have some surprising answers in store, but you are sure to grow closer to one another and God through following His Biblical examples for marriage.

You can also check out: "4 Questions Every Husband Should Ask His Wife..." written by the handsome Daniel Gaines, aka my Hubby, at 

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Pinterest Phenomenon vs The Mommy with the Most

I love pinterest. I am addicted to looking for fun ideas for my family to do. However, when to do them and where to find the funds to do them is a whole different story. I recently pinned a rag quilt that I would love to make for the kids. It has since been up in it's own window on my computer for several weeks, mocking me every time I turn on the computer. I can just see Abby and Josiah all cuddled underneath it.... Today I thought about how it's not the coolest stuff my children long for, but time with their mommy. I was sitting on the couch browsing pinterest, thinking of something I could possibly drag myself up to do when Abby layed over on my shoulder and Josiah ran over with arms outstretched to be picked up. I sat for a glorious 15 minutes cuddled with my children. They didn't need a great rag quilt, they need me!
Being a great mother doesn't mean we have to shape foods into cartoon characters or have home made valentines for each child in the class.  It does involve giving of yourself. Maybe you don't have an impeccable "pinterest" qualified house, but the toys scattered from wall to wall and the piles of laundry are signs of a family that lives and has fun in their home, not a family that is inhibited from messes because everything won't be perfect. We don't need the most expensive crafts to enjoy time with our children. We can talk a walk, go to the park, lay in the floor and wrestle, read books, and countless other "free" things. And, if we are too tired, we can lay together and watch cartoons. The best part is, IT'S OKAY!

So, the next time you are browsing pinterest for a few good ideas, remember that time spent with your children can be spent in many different ways. The quality of your mothering isn't measured by the creativity of your activities. So please realize that what is on pinterest is the high light reel for some and not their everyday lives. Your kids will have great memories of you as a mother even without an elmo shaped sandwich!
By the Way...the following pic is from pinterest ;)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

12 Days of Christmas LOVE

 I love the Song of Solomon! Verse 16 says, "My beloved is mine, and I am his." What a wonderful feeling to know that in marriage we "belong" to one another! It is so great to know that there is one man that I can share my home, life, feelings, and body with. God created a most amazing plan when he created marriage. In verse 2 of SOS it says "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine."  As Christian women, we need to be comfortable in our relationships with our husbands and show the world how truly wonderful a CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE is!

This year I decided to give Daniel the gift of 12 days of Christmas love. Most of the gifts are gifts of my time, some are sweet, some more romantic. I do not expect reciprocity of these gifts, however, let me warn you...the more blessings you shower on your husband in HIS love language the more blessings he willingly and lovingly showers upon you! (Just a nice side effect!! :) Without further ado I'll share with you my 12 days of Christmas love. Please don't judge. Remember this is for my HUSBAND! Risque is acceptable there ;) I encourage you to make the days fit your relationship. Be creative and fun!

I cut paper hearts out of Christmas scrapbooking paper. I write the "gift" on the back and fold the heart into an envelope and tape it to the back of some large square Christmas numbers I printed on the computer. I place the number each day somewhere that he can readily see it. I usually wait til it's almost time (which is after kids are in bed for us) but the anticipation could be fun too! You could also string the entire series up and have him take down one each day. It's up to you!

Day 1: I love you from head to toe! (I gave him a head and foot massage while watching a Christmas movie)-actually, I offered a foot massage too, but he LOVES to have his head rubbed and preferred me stick with that! :)
Day 2: I challenge you to a good old fashioned game night! (we played Bible tri-bond, boggle, and pass the pigs)
Day 3: Let's light a fire, drink some Welch's bubbly, and talk in the firelight. (I laid blankets in front of the fireplace and poured a couple of stemmed glasses with Welch's sparkling grape juice. We had some conversation questions I found online (just typed it into google) and talked for a long time. It was fun reminiscing and laughing, and also finding out some new things!! We actually fell asleep cuddling there and woke up at 2:00 with aching backs! Getting old!!)
Day 4: Today I greeted him at lunch with the number 4 on me! I was his gift. It was a great lunch! ;)
Day 5: Always cover me with kisses! (I laid hershey's peppermint kisses in a heart shape around the note on our "covers")
Day 6: I can't "wait" for a hot "date"! (I arranged for a babysitter so that we could have an evening out alone. We opted for dinner-with an appetizer! and coffee while chatting at Barnes and Noble)
Day 7: I love you because... (draw a head shape in the bathroom mirror -you can get window markers at Walmart- and write different positive adjectives describing him to fill the entire mirror!)
Day 8: Just a little something to snuggle me tight in! (attached to a new soft blanket to snuggle and watch a movie with!)
Day 9: I am so thankful for your hard work that allows me to stay home. Let me melt away the muscle pain with a massage! (candles, soft music, dim lights, oil- who doesn't love a massage?!)
Day 10: I loved you then, I love you now. (scatter old love letters on bed around a NEW love letter- then read some of the old and think of the memories!)
Day 11: I love you a latte!! (meet him at work with lattes or his hot beverage of choice for a morning break)
Day 12: Tonight after kids are in bed I invite you to a Reindeer Frolic!  (If you would like more information about the Reindeer frolic email me or Facebook me! :)

I pray that none of these are offensive to anyone. I tried to be discreet, however I think it is important that we as Christian wives strive to please our husbands emotionally, physically, spiritually, and sexually. God has given us such wonderful gifts in marriage. If you want, you can even pick a few and have a few days of Christmas love for your husband. However you choose to express your love, make sure he knows how much you love, respect, and appreciate him. Your relationship will grow and flourish because of it. I leave you with this to think about your sweetie: Song of Solomon 5:16 His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend.

Friday, December 16, 2011

An Excellent Wife

Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.

Proverbs 31 gives us a wonderful overview of the virtuous woman, or excellent wife. Although some things this woman does may seem to not fit into our world today, we can adapt the verses to fit into our lives today. God created woman as a helpmeet to men.  In Genesis 2:18 God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." God gave Adam a wife suitable for him, just as he gave us to our own husbands to be a helper to him.
Why should we want to be an "excellent" wife? The most glaring reason is that God calls us to. He wants us to treat our husbands with love and respect. A second very important reason is that it is very pleasing to make the person you love most in the world feel loved, respected, and happy. The marital relationship can be a beautiful bond when embraced as the Lord would have us to embrace it. If we have so much of our time in other things that we cannot accomplish the traits listed in Proverbs 31:10-31 then we may need to step back and look at our lives a little closer. God wants us to be a reflection of Himself. He wants us to be good to our husbands, of exceptional worth, respectful, trusted, kind, fearing the Lord, blessed by our children, careful, praised, not afraid, a worker with our hands, wise, and generous. Can we possible be ALL of those things? I believe we can. I believe that if we choose to follow the biblical example that God gives us of an excellent wife and we look to Him for help that we can most definitely be all of those things.
We will dig deeper into the who's, what's, and why's. But for now, I challenge you do choose a trait mentioned in Proverbs 31 and use it to do something kind for you husband today.
Serving the Master,